It really hit me today. It blasted through me inside and out. It was sensational. It was a burning feeling that flowed from my head, down to my throat, and through my stomach. It started as a warm/ light feeling that transferred to a full-blown hot flash. It was very fantastic and quit spiritual. I did not even have to look up to know that he was burning through me with his eyes. I got one of those subconscious feelings that told me if I looked up our eyes would lock and remain locked. I chose to stay looking down because I liked how it felt. The heat made my heart race and made the air around me thick. It was as if I had gone on a four mile run – yeah that heart racing heavy breathing feeling. Even the endorphins kicked in. The endorphins made it even better.  You know what else made it better? The fact that one look from him could make me smile so big and make me feel so blissful. That feeling has been absent for some time. Not just because I haven’t been running but because the timing of certain situations have not given that to me. The fire in this guy is so over looked because people today are too judgmental too fast. They don’t use both eyes. They only use the one that society has given them. They are all so blinded. But I don’t know where these flashes of heat get me, (besides making me more interested), this could be a one sided story for all I know. Sometimes that idea doesn’t bother me because if those eye contacts create such a heat flash of happiness through him like they do for me, then yeah, that can be enough. But I’ll never stop wanting more. This feeling is like a wild fire plowing through a forest. Some of those fires can be controlled and other times they just wipe through acres of land. A beautiful disaster, by nature’s own. What makes these fires or eye contacts so great, powerful, and constant: is for the simple fact that I don’t have that with anyone else. Not to the powerfulness of this fire. Nothing burns quite as heavily. And yet he remains so cool. As if these fires have no affect on him. So I allow my mind to create reasons as to why or how they do not affect him. Or maybe how they do, but he has just gotten very cleaver at hiding them.  But questions still remain, such as: Does he see me frazzled? Or do I stay as calm in his eyes? Does he notice? Or is this a routine fire that he sets whenever he wants with who-ever he wants. The fire, for me, is still burning. It’s going to take a lot to put it out. But I’m not looking for a fire extinguisher any time soon. 

-Written on 2/16/12